You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize