I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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