dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am available for nakedness
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize