She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize