Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize