I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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