Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
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She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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