The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
