I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize