every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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