You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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