you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize