they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize