So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize