I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize