I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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