i barfeds in our rink
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize