I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize