Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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