garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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