Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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