if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize