Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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