I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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