at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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