Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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