is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
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one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
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No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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