Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize