the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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