remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize