It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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