i was rollin on her like bob the builder
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize