I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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