i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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