...so i touched it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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