his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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