He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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