if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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