i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize