the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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