God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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