i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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