Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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