I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
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Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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