I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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