So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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