So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize