I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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