Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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