You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
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Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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